Put a Fork In It
Tuesday, March 10, 2009 at 8:50AM | by Katy Pork, anyone?
I admit I've hesitated writing another political blog (Remember the controversy the last one caused?), but I'm having a hard time sitting quietly on this side of The Pond and waching my hard-earned income contribute to pig odor research in Iowa. So, I have a great idea. Give me the $1.8 million, fly me first class to Iowa, and I'll let you know all about swine odor. Better yet, fly me to D.C. and I'll give a strikingly similar report (bah dum dum).
Didn't I hear somewhere that "pork ... as a strategy" is over and that this administration would "stop business as usual in Washington"? Someone please explain, then, why lawmakers on BOTH SIDES OF THE AISLE (and I want to emphasize that here) have turned a blind eye and an outstreached hand to billions in frivilous spending. Call me cynical, but how exactly will swine odor research "keep the federal government running through the rest of the fiscal year"? Let's be optimistic...maybe they're planning on employing 2.6 million people to conduct that research. Well, sign me up!
I think they ought to change the pet name of these earmarks from "pork" to "mutton." Talk about pulling the wool over our eyes! In the midst of all this madness, apparently our nation's wise leadership has turned to their "How to Reassure the American Public in order to Avoid a Major Depression" (Version 2) handbook and gleaned some wonderful wisdom:
1) Scream, "George made me do it!" Of course it's George Bush's fault...EVERYTHING is George Bush's fault.
He [Peter Orszag, director of the White House Office of Management and Budget] argued that the White House had little choice but to support the $410 billion omnibus spending bill, which it inherited from the previous administration. The bill would keep the government running through 2009.
2) Claim, "I PROMISE we won't do it again!" Pretend to do better in the future while crossing your fingers behind your back.
"We'll change the rules going forward," White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said Wednesday when asked about the legislation.
"[Such bills] will not happen when the president has the full legislative and appropriations process in place," [says] Peter Orszag, director of the White House Office of Management and Budget. "...this was negotiated last year. We think we should just move on. When we are engaged in the fiscal year 2010 appropriations process, it's going to look a lot different."
3) When all else fails, just deny it. "Earmarks? What earmarks?"
In a prime-time address before a joint session of Congress, Obama last week praised the $787 billion stimulus package signed into law, telling the nation, "I'm proud that we passed a recovery plan free of earmarks, and I want to pass a budget next year that ensures that each dollar we spend reflects only our most important national priorities."
But some in the audience found that hard to swallow.
"There was just a roar of laughter -- because there were earmarks," said Sen. Claire McCaskill, D-Missouri.
4) Be vague...be VERY vague.
PRESS SECRETARY GIBBS: "The President you will see and hear outline [sic] a process of dealing with this problem in a different way, and that the rules of the road going forward for those many appropriations bills that will go through Congress and come to his desk will be done differently."
REPORTER: "So he'll have a new standard that he's going to lay out for the appropriations bills that will come to his desk that are actually written while he's President?"
MR. GIBBS: "Yes, sir."
REPORTER: "And when is this?"
MR. GIBBS: "Soon."
(See full press briefing)
I have an idea. Let's take just a TINY portion of that "simulus" money and send these crazies to a Dave Ramsey conference. At the very least, they could take a look at some of his ideas for improving this mess.
Reader Comments (4)
AMEN and AMEN!!! Great blog Katy. I couldn't agree with you more. Seems to me that you have a better pulse on our country than this "administration" does!!! I know you said you wouldn't do it again, but i am glad you did! thanks for the post. hope you guys are well!!!
Katy,
When it comes to politics, the more things "CHANGE" the more they stay the same. As for pig odor research, I found out all I needed to know about that just cruising past Rocky Comfort Farms.
Love you,
Dad
Here here! B.O is getting pretty stinky himself........
PORK? Did anyone say Pork? We are here for you. Just call us to cater you next event.
Joey
Shanes Rib Shack Catering
(404) 538-0194