It's been ages since I last wrote, but I must say I have good reasons for my absence online. It's just that I can't really tell you what those good reasons are. My days and nights have been spent working on secret projects all in preparation for Brian's return at an undisclosed time from his undisclosed location. So, in keeping with military secrecy, I'm going to refrain from sharing my past few weeks' activities in order to really "WOW" Brian when he finally returns. I can't wait for him to see what I've done around here...and I know he can't wait to figure out how much this has cost him. Scary how much he reminds me of my dad. Even scarier how much I'm turning into my mom. But that's a different story for a different day.

There are, however, some things I am willing to share about my past few months as a "single" wife. As most of you know, I went to the States on April 16th which was the day before Brian deployed. It was actually a good move on my part. I find it is much easier to leave than to be left behind. I spent a couple of weeks at home with my wonderful family, came back and worked for a week, went to Spain for four days, worked a little more, and I now find myself immersed in these surprise projects. To be honest, I have found our first deployment experience MUCH easier than I expected. Although, Brian might beg to differ.

I have admittedly had a few moments where I would cry over the phone with Brian for no apparent reason. But that isn't all that different from how I behave when he's home. Dang hormones. I've spent a lot of time talking to myself and to the dog about nonsensical things. Again, not much change there. There is a whole lot more housework and yard work involved in my husbandless domain. Okay, so I can't really claim responsibility for all of the housework - thank the Lord for Rachael! Yard work, on the other hand, has been...interesting. Let's just say I literally have cuts on my hands from where I tried to crank the lawn mower last week. There's a reason why it's called MANual labor.

I believe the trick to surviving - no, thriving - while my husband is deployed is to look at this time apart as an opportunity to do things I wouldn't ordinarily do if he was home. I'm not talking about anything ridiculous here. Just eating applesauce, for instance. Brian hates applesauce and he swears he'll throw up if I eat it in front of him (good thing I'm the least dramatic one in this relationship). So, after he left, I bought a huge container of applesauce and ate every bit of it. And it was good.

I've had at least a dozen or so dinners which consisted of nothing more than fresh olives, hummus, Wensleydale cheese, and crackers. Thanks to Gigi I've fallen in love with Greek yogurt with honey, blueberries, and mango and often have it for dessert. Again, Brian would probably rather eat powdered eggs covered in sand - which is probably a good thing considering his line of work.

Speaking of Gigi, I am incredibly thankful for my neighbors! I've eaten at least a half dozen meals at their house. We've had burgers, Asian food, Spanish food, Mexican food, and probably others I don't recall. We've had lots of tea and coffee, we've been shopping, and she's even taken the time to help me with most of my secret projects. Clive came over to crank the lawn mower my first time cutting the grass, and he did help me screw in a light bulb last week (wish I was kidding about that one). I'm not sure if they're doing all of this out of pity or because they actually enjoy spending time with me. Either way, I'll take it. They're GREAT cooks!

There have been days where I wandered off through the Suffolk countryside for hours just admiring Britain in full bloom. I've taken long, meandering walks with the Chief through the fields, sometimes stopping at a friend's for tea, and didn't feel the need to hurry home for any reason. Why hurry when the only thing at home is a mountain of laundry, a week's worth of dirty dishes, and grass that grows everywhere except the place where it is supposed to grow? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE hurrying home to Brian, but I have quite enjoyed remembering what it feels like to live strictly on my time rather than our time. I'm enjoying it now while I can, because I am certain parenthood will change all of that for good. (No, mom, I'm not pregnant.)

With all those days filled with applesauce and olives, housework leisurely strolls and dinner parties, it might seem as though I am better suited living alone. But believe me, while I have tried my best to seek out the positives during this deployment, there are FAR more things I love about having my husband here with me every day. I miss the little things. Like our weekly "coffee outings" where we discuss our goals and plan the coming week. I miss going on a date to our favorite pub for a nice dinner. I really miss breakfast and fresh coffee in bed. I miss the way he looks at me when I get dressed up...or even when I'm hanging out in yoga pants and a t-shirt. I miss having a conversation where I don't have to say, "Can you hear me now?" Honestly, I miss having someone here I can take care of as well...someone who shows great appreciation for literally everything I do. Chief doesn't count. The day he starts cleaning up his own excrement is the day I'll say he is fully appreciative.

Anyhow, I didn't intend to turn this into a sappy posting, but that's another one of the benefits of deployment. Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder. I have more love, appreciation and admiration for my husband now than I ever have before, and I anxiously await the day when he returns so that I can better show him. For those husbands and wives who are reading this, I have a challenge for you. Do your best on a daily basis to "out-bless" each other. This is some of the best marriage advice I ever received (thanks Rob and Michelle). I must admit that Brian beats me every day. Wait...I just read what I wrote. That came out all wrong. He doesn't "beat" me. He out-blesses me. You know what I'm trying to say!

So, it won't be much longer now before Brian is back home. We've been "briefed" that there might be a slight adjustment period. No doubt he may have to relearn how to fry my eggs just the way I like them, and I'll have to relearn how to sit still and listen. Or just learn.