How could I ever doubt the presence of God when I have seen this little miracle growing inside of me? How can I articulate the thrill of hearing that little heartbeat for the first time? How can I get my husband to stop messing with all the sterilized instruments in the doctor's office before I have to slap him? These were just a few of the thoughts that went through my mind yesterday at my first OB appointment. 

When I originally scheduled my 6-9 week appointment for next week, I wasn't thinking that my dear friends Amy and Donna are coming to visit! So, I moved my appointment to yesterday (Wednesday). Of course, the only time they had available was 8 a.m. - not really a "happy" time for me these days. But none of that mattered knowing we would see our baby for the first time!

After the nurse practitioner (who is a Major in the Air Force) had asked and answered lots of questions, we made our way to the ultrasound room. As soon as she properly positioned the machine, I knew immediately what I saw. I looked at that little peanut and exclaimed, "That's the head!" I couldn't believe how clearly we could see it. In fact, it wasn't that long ago that I looked at friends' ultrasound photos at 20 weeks and couldn't distinguish one black and white blob from another one. The technology available to us now is absolutely incredible. Not only could we see the shape of it's little body (approximately 3/4" in length), but we could see a precious little heart that was beating for all it was worth. The nurse recorded 170 beats per minute. No wonder I'm so out of breath!

I believe that was the first moment I allowed myself to believe that this is really happening and that I hadn't just imagined it all. There is a human being that is 100% dependent on me already. Every decision I make - whether to travel, eat, sleep, exercise, etc. - is preempted by the thought, "Is this the best thing for our child?" What an absolutely thrilling and terrifying feeling.

As for Brian's part, he's managed the extra responsibilities well. I don't think he fully understands why I can't even go into the kitchen without dry heaving or why I wake up every day more exhausted than when I went to bed, but he's more than willing to help out. I am trying my best not to overwork him now, because I know I'm going to need him desperately when I can no longer see my feet. 

And speaking of enormous bellies, I did ask the nurse if it was normal to eat about 8 to 10 meals a day. I usually eat something substantial (like a sandwich or soup and a piece of fruit) and feel absolutely starving one hour later. I'm watching that scale creep up pretty quickly, and it's making me wonder. If this is how almost 9 weeks feels, how is 40 is going to feel? She assured me it was my body's way of forcing me to store up some extra fat to help the baby grow. So, now I feel completely justified eating enough in one day to satisfy four grown men. As a side note, it seems a bit ironic now that we live in a barn...a barn that housed cows, as a matter of fact. First person to call me a heifer gets a swift slap on the head.

Anyhow, after such an exciting appointment, we both wanted to travel to RAF Feltwell (just north of RAF Mildenhall and RAF Lakenheath). This base houses the local military veterinary clinic as well as a small furniture store. We walked straight to the baby section of the store to check out prices on cribs, strollers, car seats, high chairs, playpens, toys - I never really stopped to think about how much gear a baby requires! There was an interesting toy that caught my eye.

They advertise it as an "activity station" rather than by its street name, "vibrating, noise-making plastic device that shuts your baby up for a few hours." Yes, activity station sounds much nicer. I was actually admiring the cute little children on the front of the box when I thought that perhaps one of them looked like our niece Reagan. I looked a few seconds longer and said, "That IS Reagan!"

I think we may have to buy that activity station just to show off the box to all our friends!

So, that's the latest in the development of our Mini-Morgan or "Peanut." Or as Gerald likes to call it, G-baby. Or as Pam likes to call it, "MY Grandbaby." This poor kid is going to be so confused.

In the mean time, Brian and I aren't sitting around twiddling our thumbs waiting for this baby to arrive. I believe the reality of our new family dynamic has motivated us to make the most of our amazing location. So, stay tuned for more on our upcoming trip to the Czech Republic next week and a Mediterranean Cruise in October (including stops in Italy, Greece, Turkey, Israel, and Egypt). April will be here before we know it!

PS - We'll keep all pregnancy photos in "The Peanut Gallery"