How NOT to Sell a House

I love being a home renter. The thought of my father-in-law coming to town to help us "fix" SOMEONE ELSE'S house is benefit enough (seriously love that man). But then there's the fact that we don't have to deal with pesky problems like property taxes, homeowner's associations, country club memberships, resale value, and keeping up with "The Joneses." Because, let's be honest, we'll only be here a few years and really don't care to meet the Joneses. But home ownership does have something more appealing than home rentership - and that's security. To know for certain that no one will come along and kick you out because they want their house back is very reassuring. Unless you're terribly indebted to your bank…but that's another situation all together.

l'm so thankful we no longer have to worry that our landlord will kick us out before the Air Force decides to move us back to America. We're no longer in that "danger zone" where we think we may have to live in a hotel our last several months in England - with a toddler and a baby nonetheless. So, when the real estate agent calls the house to schedule a viewing of potential buyers, I no longer dodge their calls or try to make the house seem intentionally unappealing (you'd be surprised how gifted I can be in this department).

We had a couple come by last week to take a look at "our" house, and I was more than accommodating. In fact, the house was as clean as it had been in weeks. The kitchen was clean and inviting with no decibel-piercing spin cycles coming from the washing machine. I had some candles burning rather than a trash can full of dirty diapers. And, I even went ON AND ON about what a great house it has been for entertaining. In fact, when they came upstairs to take a look, I engaged the husband in further discussion about how much we have loved this house.

I said to him, "We're really going to miss this place! That kitchen was really the selling point for me. I've thoroughly enjoyed it!" To which the husband replied, "Yes, the kitchen is where we spend most of our time! I can imagine you spent most of your time there as well."

And then I said something so unintentionally idiotic I still can't believe I said it.

"Well, honestly, I've spent most of my time here in this bedroom." And, as if that comment wasn't suggestive enough, I pointed to my enormously pregnant belly.

Insert long...painfully awkward silence.

Then this poor man slowly backed out of our master bedroom and rejoined his wife who had moved on to the guest bedroom.

I was mortified. Did I SERIOUSLY just say that? Of course, I meant to suggest that I've spent most of my time SLEEPING since my husband was deployed and I have a toddler. What it probably sounded like to him is that with a toddler, my blatant pregnancy, and my obvious lack of tact and/or judgment, I probably spend most of my time here entertaining men. But it was too late to backtrack and explain myself to this poor man. I had already made him as uncomfortable as humanly possible.

On a positive note, we've not received nearly as many calls to show potential buyers around the house.

Comments

[Penni]

We all say things that afterwards we think back and say "Did I really say THAT?". ....I've said my share that's for sure....Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed the post. :)

[Lemon Stand]

I think there is a rule someone that says you can not get out of the military until you have committed the following faux paux [list provided]. Been there. thanks for sharing it.

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