I thought now would be an excellent time to break the 2 1/2 month silence since I just experienced one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. It's a moment that doesn't quite trump the time my dad thought I was my mom and seriously scarred me for life, but it's close. I'll get to that a bit later, though.

For those of you who don't already know, I spent nearly two months back "home" with my family and friends. I guess you could say that Brian and I went through a pretty serious time of uncertainty in our marriage, and I just needed my family there next to me. I spent a few weeks completely confused, a few weeks in "counseling" with the handful of people I am so blessed to call my brothers and sisters in Christ, a few weeks working my tail off with mom's new business (more on that in the coming weeks!), and a few weeks reconciling with Brian. It was by far the best visit home I've ever had, and I appreciate how the people we love absolutely covered us in prayers! I assure you they've been answered.

I hesitated even saying anything here about this "valley" in our marriage, but want to make it clear that I don't keep this site going to inflate my ego. I'm not trying to find my 15 minutes of fame or to add to the plethora of egocentric individuals out there in cyberspace. I want you all to know that we need your prayers every day and that your participation here greatly encourages us. I wish I could describe how it thrills my heart to know that our loved ones enjoy hearing about all the funny and ridiculous things we experience, but I am equally blessed by your encouragement through the hard times.

Brian and I are content to accept both God's blessings AND the hard lessons we must learn - knowing that everything works together for the good of those who love the Lord. That has carried me and Brian through some difficult times these past few years. Knowing that God is glorified through our reconciliation is something I feel is important to share!

Speaking of reconciliation...I've enjoyed the past several days back in Walsham le Willows. Brian is working the night shift this week, so we're keeping a ridiculous schedule here. Going to bed around 6 a.m. Waking up around 2 p.m. It's very confusing, and I'm pretty sure I'm still a bit jet lagged.

Around 1:00 a.m. I was just doing some laundry and picking up all the junk I brought back from the U.S., when I decided to send a text message to my husband. I simply responded to his earlier text and also described in some graphic detail my anticipation about his return home from work. I knew he would be unable to read it for several hours, so I just sent it and returned to my housework. A few hours later, I checked my phone for messages and realized that I hadn't sent that text to Brian at all. Not only did he not receive it, a poor, unsuspecting neighbor of mine received it instead!

Needless to say I couldn't call or text to explain since it is now the middle of the night, so I sent her daughter a Facebook message hoping by some small miracle she could explain before her mother got my text. I know good and well it is not going to work out that way, but I had to do SOMETHING to help my face return to a normal shade. We're gonna need to move.

I also posted a message about my little fiasco on Facebook and had more than a dozen responses within an hour! Unbelievable. Technology is such a wonderfully dangerous thing, isn't it?

This is a lesson my father also learned the hard way several years ago. Mom and I were in the car together, and her cell phone rang. When I noticed it was dad, I told her I would answer it. APPARENTLY, my mother and I sound exactly alike on the phone, because I got the kind of earful no daughter should ever have to hear. I'm pretty sure dad wasn't able to look me in the eye some two or three years after that incident. I now preface every phone conversation with him by saying, "Dad, this is your daughter."

Well, daddy, I guess all those years of making fun of you has finally caught up with me. I suppose I'll have to stick to "Have a nice day" and "TTYL" (talk to you later). Anything else is just too dangerous.

PS - Stay tuned as I update our blog readers on our adventures in America - including working with my mother and the World's Longest Yard Sale!

I'd like to share bits of an email sent to me from The Commander's Wife - a title which actually holds as much (if not more) power as any formal military rank. I'm unsure of the origin of this email, but it does give a pretty accurate portrait of what it feels like to live the military life. Enjoy!

What is a MILITARY Wife?

They may look different and each is wonderfully unique, but this they have in common:
Lots of moving---
Moving
Moving
Moving far from home
Moving sofas to basements because they won't go in THIS house
Moving curtains that won't fit
Moving jobs and certifications and professional development hours
Moving away from friends moving toward new friends
Moving her most important luggage; her trunk full of memories

Often waiting...waiting, waiting, waiting for housing; waiting for orders; waiting for deployment; waiting for reunion; waiting for phones calls; waiting for the new curtains to arrive; waiting for him to come home for dinner.

They call her 'military dependent', but she knows better. She can balance a checkbook, handle the yard work, and fix a noisy toilet.

She can file the taxes, sell a house, buy a car, or set up a move -- all with ONE Power of Attorney.

She reinvents her career with every PCS; locates a house in the desert, the arctic, or the deep South and learns to call them all 'home'. She MAKES them all home.

She is fiercely independent.
Military Wives are somewhat hasty.
They leap into decorating, leadership, volunteering, career alternatives, churches and friendships.

They don't have 15 years to get to know people.

Their roots are short but flexible.

Military Wives quickly learn to value each other. They connect over coffee, rely on the spouse-network and accept offers of friendship and favors and record addresses in pencil. Military Wives have a common bond.

The Military Wife has a husband unlike other husbands. His commitment is unique. He doesn't have a job, he has a 'mission' he can't just decide to quit.

He's on-call for his country 24/7, but for you, he's the most unreliable guy in town...
His language is foreign: TDY, PCS, OPR, ACC, BDU. And so, a Military Wife is a translator for her family and his. She is the long-distance link to keep them informed; the glue that holds them together.

Military Wife has her moments --
She wants to wring his neck, dye his uniform pink, and refuse to move to Siberia.

But she pulls herself together.

Give her a few days, a travel brochure, a long hot bath, a pledge to the flag, and a wedding picture, and she goes. She packs. She moves. She follows.

Why? What for? How come? You may think it is because she has lost her mind.

But actually it is because she has lost her heart.

It was stolen from her by a man who puts duty first. Who salutes the flag. And whose boots in the doorway remind her that as long as he is her Military husband, she will remain his Military wife.

Anyone who has been or who currently is a military wife probably nodded in agreement to most of the things listed above. Although Brian's career in the Air Force has just begun, I can identify with nearly all of these challenges. Having moved six times in three years, I am fully acquainted with the concept of "flexibility." However, I do want to emphasize something the author wrote that I don't necessarily agree with: "He's on-call for his country 24/7, but for you, he's the most unreliable guy in town...".

An unreliable husband is one who puts his own needs and desires before his wife's. He pursues his career at the expense of her well-being. He spends more time than absolutely necessary at the office, because coming home requires chores and less exciting responsibilities. He fails to live up to his role as the spiritual head of the household, because he fails to find creative ways to provide that - despite distance and busy schedules. Brian is NOT that man.

After ten wonderful years of loving Brian (our first date was January 26, 1999), I'm sure I could come up with a pretty long list of ways that he irritates the heck out of me. Just for fun, I'll mention a few. He'll rinse out bottles and cans for recycling and leave them on the counter for weeks without moving them a mere four feet into the bin in the pantry. He would rather impale himself with a dull pair of scissors than have to decide what to eat for dinner. He could (and often does) spend hours just watching me work in my office. Sweet, but a TAD bit distracting.

He's not perfect, he's not sinless, and he's not even 100% sure how to please me (but what man is really up for that job?). However, I do recall that on May 21, 2005, I made a vow to Brian that said, "I will support you by word and deed by putting more emphasis on what you are than what you are not."

Military and non-military wives out there, how often do we put more emphasis on what our husbands are NOT? How many of us would admit that we went into marriage so excited about our differences, but we have spent the rest of our marriage trying to make our spouse more like us? As I look at those things that "drive me crazy" about my precious husband, I can't help but recognize that those things are so much more a part of his God-given personality than things he does on a daily basis to try and irritate me. I seriously doubt there are men out there who wake up in the morning just wondering what they can do to provoke their wives to nag. In fact, I bet most of them stay at the office or out with their buddies to avoid that very thing.

So, here's my challenge for all you God-fearing wives (and husbands) out there. For the next week, I'd like for you to take copious notes of those things that creep into your consciousness that absolutely annoy you about your spouse. We'll call these the "Have-Nots". Things like, "Would it KILL him to see that I need help moving this piece of furniture into the other room? He is too distracted to see that I need his help!" What about, "Am I the ONLY person in this house who knows how to rinse dishes and put them in the dishwasher? He is so lazy!" Guys, have you ever thought, "Does she have to mention 15 times a day that she wants me to change the oil in the car? She must think I'm an idiot!"

Some of you will have twenty pages of notes in the first day. That's fine. But, I'd like for you to take it one step further. For every "Have-not" you record, I'd like for you to write down three "Haves." Here's what I might record as a hypothetical example:

Have-Not

Brian has no idea how challenging it is for me to work from home. He distracts me with questions and expects me to focus 100% on him when he walks through the door - even when I still have work to do!

Have

1) Brian is thoroughly interested in my work and is my greatest encouragement!

2) Brian obviously loves my company and wants to spend every bit of free time conversing with me.

3) Brian is more than willing to complete countless chores around the house so that I can focus on my school and work commitments. He does this without the slightest complaint.

Okay, so my example was a bit more true-to-life than a hypothetical. Here's the point of the exercise. When we start to focus on our spouse's "Haves," we continually remind ourselves of those things that drew us to them in the first place!

Will you take this challenge with me? It only takes a few minutes each day (more if you've had LOTS of experience focusing on your spouse's "Have-Nots"), but I'm hoping we'll all draw our focus back to those things we appreciate about our spouses.

Please make sure your Haves and Have-Nots are related. For instance, you wouldn't say, "My husband shows no affection toward me" as a Have-Not and then list "My husband does the dishes daily" as a Have. I'm hoping we'll find Haves in the midst of the Have-Nots. In other words, for every irritating behavior, what are three related behaviors we appreciate?

One final note on this exercise. It is very important that you focus on BEHAVIORS you find irritating rather than personality traits. A person can easily change a negative behavior, but we can not easily change who we are! If you frame it in that perspective, you're far more likely to find three times as many positive behaviors.

So, that's your challenge. I'll keep you updated on my progress this week, and I hope you'll do the same. Feel free to post any ideas, challenges, or enlightening moments with all of us!

God Bless!