Believe it or not, it's been exactly one year since we first moved to England. Some of you may recall our first few weeks here. One of the most memorable experiences for me was learning to drive. Since Brian got right to work, I had the terrifying task of driving around England looking for a house on my own. I remember following the real estate agent out to our house in Walsham for a viewing. She was driving at a normal rate of speed for someone accustomed to European cars and country roads. In other words, she was going at least 60 around turns and curves that would no doubt flip an American-sized SUV. I, on the other hand, trailed behind doing 30 and still ended up with a front, left hub cap that now requires zip ties to stay put.
I'll never forget that first trip down the Scary Road. It is, for your information, properly named The Street. Seriously, it's called "The Street." Apparently the road-namers ran out of ideas once they got to Walsham. Anyhow, we seriously considered not moving here after driving down this road a few times. The video doesn't really do it justice, but you can ask my father-in-law how frightening it is. I nearly killed them on that road while he and Robyn were here. And, no, it wasn't intentional.
It's been ages since I last wrote, but I must say I have good reasons for my absence online. It's just that I can't really tell you what those good reasons are. My days and nights have been spent working on secret projects all in preparation for Brian's return at an undisclosed time from his undisclosed location. So, in keeping with military secrecy, I'm going to refrain from sharing my past few weeks' activities in order to really "WOW" Brian when he finally returns. I can't wait for him to see what I've done around here...and I know he can't wait to figure out how much this has cost him. Scary how much he reminds me of my dad. Even scarier how much I'm turning into my mom. But that's a different story for a different day.
There are, however, some things I am willing to share about my past few months as a "single" wife. As most of you know, I went to the States on April 16th which was the day before Brian deployed. It was actually a good move on my part. I find it is much easier to leave than to be left behind. I spent a couple of weeks at home with my wonderful family, came back and worked for a week, went to Spain for four days, worked a little more, and I now find myself immersed in these surprise projects. To be honest, I have found our first deployment experience MUCH easier than I expected. Although, Brian might beg to differ.
I have admittedly had a few moments where I would cry over the phone with Brian for no apparent reason. But that isn't all that different from how I behave when he's home. Dang hormones. I've spent a lot of time talking to myself and to the dog about nonsensical things. Again, not much change there. There is a whole lot more housework and yard work involved in my husbandless domain. Okay, so I can't really claim responsibility for all of the housework - thank the Lord for Rachael! Yard work, on the other hand, has been...interesting. Let's just say I literally have cuts on my hands from where I tried to crank the lawn mower last week. There's a reason why it's called MANual labor.
I believe the trick to surviving - no, thriving - while my husband is deployed is to look at this time apart as an opportunity to do things I wouldn't ordinarily do if he was home. I'm not talking about anything ridiculous here. Just eating applesauce, for instance. Brian hates applesauce and he swears he'll throw up if I eat it in front of him (good thing I'm the least dramatic one in this relationship). So, after he left, I bought a huge container of applesauce and ate every bit of it. And it was good.
I've had at least a dozen or so dinners which consisted of nothing more than fresh olives, hummus, Wensleydale cheese, and crackers. Thanks to Gigi I've fallen in love with Greek yogurt with honey, blueberries, and mango and often have it for dessert. Again, Brian would probably rather eat powdered eggs covered in sand - which is probably a good thing considering his line of work.
Speaking of Gigi, I am incredibly thankful for my neighbors! I've eaten at least a half dozen meals at their house. We've had burgers, Asian food, Spanish food, Mexican food, and probably others I don't recall. We've had lots of tea and coffee, we've been shopping, and she's even taken the time to help me with most of my secret projects. Clive came over to crank the lawn mower my first time cutting the grass, and he did help me screw in a light bulb last week (wish I was kidding about that one). I'm not sure if they're doing all of this out of pity or because they actually enjoy spending time with me. Either way, I'll take it. They're GREAT cooks!
There have been days where I wandered off through the Suffolk countryside for hours just admiring Britain in full bloom. I've taken long, meandering walks with the Chief through the fields, sometimes stopping at a friend's for tea, and didn't feel the need to hurry home for any reason. Why hurry when the only thing at home is a mountain of laundry, a week's worth of dirty dishes, and grass that grows everywhere except the place where it is supposed to grow? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE hurrying home to Brian, but I have quite enjoyed remembering what it feels like to live strictly on my time rather than our time. I'm enjoying it now while I can, because I am certain parenthood will change all of that for good. (No, mom, I'm not pregnant.)
With all those days filled with applesauce and olives, housework leisurely strolls and dinner parties, it might seem as though I am better suited living alone. But believe me, while I have tried my best to seek out the positives during this deployment, there are FAR more things I love about having my husband here with me every day. I miss the little things. Like our weekly "coffee outings" where we discuss our goals and plan the coming week. I miss going on a date to our favorite pub for a nice dinner. I really miss breakfast and fresh coffee in bed. I miss the way he looks at me when I get dressed up...or even when I'm hanging out in yoga pants and a t-shirt. I miss having a conversation where I don't have to say, "Can you hear me now?" Honestly, I miss having someone here I can take care of as well...someone who shows great appreciation for literally everything I do. Chief doesn't count. The day he starts cleaning up his own excrement is the day I'll say he is fully appreciative.
Anyhow, I didn't intend to turn this into a sappy posting, but that's another one of the benefits of deployment. Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder. I have more love, appreciation and admiration for my husband now than I ever have before, and I anxiously await the day when he returns so that I can better show him. For those husbands and wives who are reading this, I have a challenge for you. Do your best on a daily basis to "out-bless" each other. This is some of the best marriage advice I ever received (thanks Rob and Michelle). I must admit that Brian beats me every day. Wait...I just read what I wrote. That came out all wrong. He doesn't "beat" me. He out-blesses me. You know what I'm trying to say!
So, it won't be much longer now before Brian is back home. We've been "briefed" that there might be a slight adjustment period. No doubt he may have to relearn how to fry my eggs just the way I like them, and I'll have to relearn how to sit still and listen. Or just learn.
If you had asked me a little over a month ago what I desire most from my husband, I probably would have responded with some smart-alecky comment about his credit card or yard work. For some reason I have always believed that I wasn't the type of girl who needed mushy stuff like poetry, candles, music, and flowers. Give me a decent blender over a bouquet of flowers any day. Brian has almost always been the more sentimental one in this relationship. Sure, I try to be thoughtful, but sappy is not something I typically respond to...until now.
Maybe it's the distance - or the terrible thoughts about what he's doing out there that sometimes enter my mind. Maybe it's hormonal (no, mom, I'm not pregnant). Maybe I'm just frustrated that the only male affection I receive on a daily basis comes from the dog. Whatever it is, I've become a HUGE sucker for the sappy stuff since Brian left.
Take yesterday, for instance. For those of you who keep up with the site, you would have noticed that yesterday was our four-year wedding anniversary. Anniversaries are a BIG deal in the Morgan household. I figure every additional year we can make it without driving each other crazy is reason enough to celebrate. Brian and I are both big into gift-giving, but we decided from the start to stick to the traditional anniversary gift guide. This year, since we're in the UK, we're following the UK tradition of giving fruit and flowers for the 4th year.
Not only did I receive a gorgeous bouquet of flowers (that were divided into four quadrants, symbolizing the four years we've been married), and an "Apple" iTunes gift card, but I also received a poem with lots of adorable references to fruits.
Here's a quick excerpt for you:
So here’s an example of using imagination Just think that pear equals pair (just a simple equation.)
So we’ll spend a ‘pear’ of nights on a quick getaway. We’ll also get a ‘pear’ of tickets and go see a play.
I don’t know the ‘date’ so I can’t buy them yet, (A ‘date’ is also a fruit…or did you forget?)
And there’s one more thing to sweeten the deal, Here comes a promise that is very real.
Salsa comes from tomatoes which also count as fruit, So we’ll finally go dancing; I promise it’ll be a hoot!
Okay, so he's not going to win any Pulitzers for it, but I was so touched by this gift that I couldn't help but melt into a puddle of tears. Honestly, I was glad he didn't send me an "Apple" laptop (next up on my wishlist), because this poem meant more to me than anything he could have purchased. Granted, I'm still holding him to the getaway, the play, and the dancing. You can COUNT on that!
Since my gift to Brian is still in transit, I'll let him share it with you when it arrives. I do, however, want to post the video I created in honor of our anniversary, because many of your faces are there as well. Our family and friends have blessed our lives so richly, and we are grateful for your love and encouragement throughout our marriage! Please continue to keep Brian in your prayers...especially as many of you enjoy the break for Memorial Day weekend!
Happy Anniversary, Brian, and thank you for humbly serving our God, our family, and our nation!
At last, the video you've all been waiting for. Here is evidence that we actually managed to surprise my mom on her 50th birthday. I'm pretty sure we'll never be able to pull off a stunt like this again, so I'm glad we captured it (thanks for the camera work, Joey).
Enjoy, and I'll post the rest of the party later...stay tuned!
Monday, June 8, 2009 at 11:43PM | by